I started writing this in May…it is almost July…but you know how life gets…so let’s pretend I finished writing this and uploaded it sooner…

It is officially May, which means that it is officially qualifying exam season!!! Which sounds crazy for so many reasons…

For one, I won’t even be taking my qualifying exam until mid-September…and yet…qualifying exam season HAS begun! Secondly, how am I already at the point of my PhD where I’m taking my qualifying exam?? I am lucky in that I do have preliminary data…it’s just a little shocking to me that I am already at this step of my PhD (I’m just a baby). Tbh, anytime I think about my qual, I feel like I need to scream…

For those of you who are not familiar, the PhD qualifying exam consists of two parts: a written document and an oral presentation/defense to present the research aims of your thesis, background information, data interpretation, identifying alternative outcomes …all sorts of things. It is also widely accepted to be the toughest part of the PhD, even more difficult than the actual defense at the end of your PhD (this is what people say, and I guess I hope that is true?? IDK, only time will tell…).

Thus, this is Qual Prep version 1.0, because there will certainly be more versions to follow…It is May, and I have finally figured out my two research aims and their 2-3 subaims. This task was actually a lot harder than I anticipated. And it was giving me so much stress, because how the hell am I supposed to move forward in preparing for my qualifying exam if I don’t even know what my (second) research aim will be???

So, thankfully that has been figured out. At least, I think so. It is possible that when I meet with my thesis committee in a couple of weeks that they tell me my research aims are too broad and to rethink it all 😂 And then I will feel like I’m at square one…again. So please keep me in your thoughts and prayers…stress gives me tummy issues, and if there is one thing about me, I CANNOT have a tummy ache AND be brave about it. That’s some Navy Seal shit, if you ask me. (Update: my committee approved of both of my aims and all said it sounds like an exciting project they were looking forward to being a part of ☺️ see my “I survived my first thesis committee meeting” post to learn more about that)

The best advice I always give to others is to ask lots of questions to lots of different people to get a wide variety of input and advice. And then remind yourself that you don’t have to take every piece of advice that you get. You gotta remember that every person is different, and so what works for person A might not work for person B.

Anyway…I’ve started writing the specific aims portion of my exam, which I’ve been told is the most important page for this document, as well as for any grant I submit. We are officially on draft 3 (I’m estimating at least 10 drafts of just the specific aims page before moving forward…). I’m learning that, while this is a challenging task, it is also kind of fun. If you can’t tell from this whole blog thing, I do enjoy writing. And I especially enjoy writing about things that excite me. What you might also gather from this blog is that I have a very casual way of writing and presenting myself…I like to write as if I’m talking to someone. But you cannot do that in scientific writing. And so that has been one of the biggest challenges for me. Learning how to write more succinctly, scientifically, and learning that I do not need to share every little bit of information in my head (that’s what the oral exam is for).

How I feel about my level of intelligence varies day to day 😂 Sometimes I feel dumb, sometimes I feel smart and confident. It is quite a rollercoaster. BUT! I’m making it through. I couldn’t do this without the support of my amazing labmates ❤️ And all the advice, editing, words of encouragement, and critique from my boss. She is tough, but she also cares so much. 

The countdown to my official qual date is less than 3 months away!!! I’ve got a lot of reading, a lot of writing, and a lot of experiments/data analysis to complete in the meantime!!! It is a daunting and somewhat scary (definitely anxiety-inducing) task…but I feel like I might…maybe perhaps (?) come out the other side feeling more confident in myself and accomplished as a scientist??? We will see 😊