I keep saying (or rather, writing) that I’m going to make a blog post about my postbac experience at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) soon. Well guess what, buddies? Today is THAT day!

When I reflect back on my postbac experience, I have so many happy thoughts and feelings, as those two years were honestly two of the best years of my life! To get everyone up to speed, I will first describe what exactly a postbac experience is. In the simplest of terms, a postbac is an opportunity for recent college graduates to get full-time research experience before applying to graduate school or medical school. You can do a postbac at a multitude of institutions – including (but certainly not limited to) the NIH, the Broad Institute, and several universities across the United States. I did mine at the NIH, specifically within the National Cancer Institute. 

There are a lot of reasons why someone might choose to do a postbac. And there were a lot of reasons why I chose to do mine. One of the biggest reasons I chose to do a postbac is because I went into college knowing ~exactly~ what I wanted to do with my life. Except that I didn’t. I changed my mind. And I was afraid that I would change my mind about a PhD/research. So this time I wanted to take the time to make sure that doing a PhD/research was something I really wanted to do. Especially because a PhD is 4-6 years…and that’s a big commitment. I dated someone for that long and that relationship ended. So I’ve changed my mind about big commitments before 😂 aka…I had to be sure.

Really, I wanted to gain more research experience so that I could (1) determine that I liked research enough to commit 4-6 years to a PhD program, and (2) strengthen my resume/CV in case I did choose to apply to a PhD program. Additionally, I wanted to work a real job so that I could build up my savings…because, if you don’t know, PhD programs don’t necessarily pay their students the best salaries 😅

I got all of those things and SO MUCH MORE from my postbac experience. I truly could not be more grateful. I had a really amazing PI (aka boss), amazing coworkers, and I made the most amazing of friends. Not only did I get to do really cool research that has led to three patents and two (pending) publications, but I also got to enroll in pharmacology courses, engage in thoughtful discussions regarding diversity and inclusion in science, learn about science policy and science communication, help plan the NCI Center for Cancer Research Fellows & Young Investigators annual colloquium, network with incredibly smart scientists, and countless other things!

I do want to say that this experience is not ubiquitous…not everyone has a great postbac experience. And, just like with graduate school, a lot of that can depend on who you select as your PI/mentor. You would hope that PIs who are accepting postbacs are accepting them because they want to help young scientists grow…but unfortunately that is not always the case. But, I digress…

My project at the NCI was to conduct molecular analyses and high throughput (-ish…) screens of novel targeted therapeutics for head and neck squamous cell carcinoma (the sixth most common cancer worldwide! …I can still go off on this spiel so easily). AKA, I did a lot of cellular assays, ELISAs, Western blots, etc. And I mean A LOT. But it was so much fun. Because each new drug that I tested had the potential to be a novel, life-saving treatment. I was so excited to see the results of every single assay. When I first started really cranking out experiments on my own, I told my parents, “I can’t wait for the weekend to be over so that I can go back to work.” …that’s how much I loved it. Crazy 😂

And while I did really enjoy the work…my favorite part was the people. I still talk to people from my lab almost daily, mostly weekly, and definitely monthly 😂 I love them. They are all wicked smart scientists, who are also so kind, supportive, and encouraging. And all with such unique and different life experiences. I feel so lucky to know them, and I am so grateful that I had them to help build me into the scientist I am today!!

And I’m MOST grateful for the other postbacs that I worked with ❤️ I truly have never met so many amazing, kind, caring, fun, intelligent, passionate, silly people. I don’t think I’ve ever met a group of people who connected and cared for each other so quickly like the way we all did. It was so special. And I think it’s so cute that we all reflect on how special and rare the bonds we made are. And it’s so cool that I know so many people in different graduate programs and at different medical schools all working towards their different dreams and passions. And it’s so cool to think about all of the amazing places we will move onto next. Thanks to my postbac, I know a lot of people who are destined for greatness. Who will have an impact on science. Who will change the world. And that is no exaggeration!

I will admit, I was nervous to commit two years to a postbac. I thought that I would feel behind when I got to graduate school. But it was quite the contrary. Instead, I went into graduate school feeling confident about the research I wanted to pursue (as I’d had time to read and research where my interests lie), I knew what kind of mentor I needed to succeed, and, most importantly, I felt confident in myself as a scientist and as an individual.

I went through a lot of growth and change in those two years – I got over that previously mentioned 5 year relationship (lol), I learned so much about science and research, and I finally started to learn who I was as an individual…and I really started to like the person I was becoming 🙂

Now, I will say, it was not all rainbows and butterflies. I started my postbac in 2020…during the pandemic…so really for that first year I was just working, hiking, and feeling alone. It wasn’t until 2021, after we all got vaccinated, that life really started to turn around for me. I will also say that while I felt confident coming into graduate school, I was quickly humbled and I continue to be humbled. Any time you start to feel good about something…you are bound to have something knock you back down 😅

There are a lot of times that I really miss my postbac and my old life. But something that I tell myself is, “my old life doesn’t exist anymore” – even if I went back to Frederick, went back to NCI, so many of the people who made it so amazing aren’t there anymore. And so it wouldn’t be the same. And while I do miss my postbac, my home, and my friends a lot, I am also so grateful to be where I am now. I am so blessed and lucky to have a really amazing mentor and really amazing labmates. I finally get to do toxicology and environmental health research and follow my passion. And I’ve got some pretty great friends here too 😊

My postbac was an amazing first ~true~ research experience. I am confident that my postbac experience is the reason I had such great success applying to graduate school and is (part of) the reason I was able to find another really great lab home at UofR. The research I did at NCI is vastly different from the research I do now, but the skills I learned and the people I met have led me to exactly where I want to be. And I can’t wait to see where else I go.

If you have any interest in hearing more about my postbac experience (I would love to talk to college or high school students), please do not hesitate to reach out!!

I also just want to end this with a quick thank you to all my readers and subscribers. I wanted to start a blog for so long (I flirted with the idea of some sci comm thing all the way back in college), but I was so nervous because…who do I think I am to think people would want to read about my life? IDK. Mean thoughts like that stopped me from taking the leap 😂 BUT, I am SO happy I did finally start this. It’s my favorite thing I’ve done so far. And it means so much to me that so many people reach out to me to talk about different posts or just thank me for sharing my thoughts 😊 I have often felt so alone in the ways that I feel, and so one of my biggest goals with this blog is to help other graduate students (or just regular people) feel less alone in their struggles at work, school, and/or life. Sometimes we feel alone. But we never truly are. (I have to constantly remind myself of this).