Yesterday I had my first ever thesis committee meeting! For those of you a little less familiar with the grad school/PhD process, after you officially join the lab you will be doing your thesis research in, you select three additional principal investigators (PIs)/mentors to serve on your committee. These are people who have knowledge in specific parts of your project that can help to give you an outside perspective and unique ways of looking at and thinking about your project.

For example, for my project I have a committee member with extensive research experience with endocrine disrupting chemicals (EDCs), another who serves as my “genetics expert”, and an endocrinology MD/PhD who can offer knowledge from the clinic

I feel really fortunate because my committee is composed of people who are really incredible scientists, while also being supportive and kind. I know that they will challenge me and teach me to think in ways I am not used to. And I know that they are doing it to make me a better scientist…not to make me feel dumb.

I was soooo nervous heading into my committee meeting. Probably the most nervous I’ve ever been for a presentation before. (Has me a little worried for when it’s time for my qualifying exam and thesis defense lmaooo…and I am a person who actually likes presenting). 

I know I say this all the time and it might be getting old…but it’s just so true, and I’m just so grateful – I am sooo lucky to have such amazing and supportive labmates ♥️ Sitting in my shared office before my meeting I told my labmate how nervous I was (definitely had a lot of serotonin flowing through my intestines…you can Google what I mean by that lol), and so she had me run through the presentation with her. It was so nice because it (1) allowed me to practice, (2) distracted me from how much time I had left until my meeting, and (3) gave me some validation about the quality and quantity of work I’ve done over the last year.

I then went into my committee meeting, still feeling nervous, but at least knowing (approximately) what I wanted to say. The first ten minutes of my committee meeting were the PIs all catching up with each other on recent travels…it was nice (for me) to see how well they all got along and it was a good reminder that PIs are just regular people too (not people to be scared of).

THEN they kicked me out of the room before we started (I have no idea what they talked about…I often joke that this is the part of the PhD that is one of my biggest fears coming true: a room full of people talking about you behind your back 😂). My boss came to let me back into the room and said, “You’re okay! You’re okay!” (I told her quite a few times how nervous I was…I’m also weird and smile a lot and talk loudly when I’m nervous, which she has certainly picked up on 😂).

I don’t know exactly when or how it happened, but there was a point during my presentation where I had a feeling of calmness come over me – I realized I was doing really well; I had their attention, they were asking really interesting questions, and I was able to answer most of them. I felt calm…and I was lowkey having fun 😅 I am lucky in that I do really love my research project. It is a project that really allows me to combine my interests in environmental and human health, as well as genetics and cellular signaling. So I do like talking about it. And my goal with every presentation is to get people really excited about toxicology and environmental health and teach people how we can apply this to treating and preventing disease in real people.

It was fun, validating, and also showed me the parts of my project that my committee (and I) were most confused about. I got really great feedback and am now feeling pretty excited to start writing my document and really digging my teeth deeper into the project and seeing where it goes.

The fun (and stressful) thing about research is that you never really know what you are going to find…I can make a damn good proposal, and then not even end up following that path at all. I like living life a little bit on the edge, I like being free-spirited, and I like exploring…research is an awesome way to get to do that in my career 😊

My absolute favorite part of this whole experience was having my boss come into my office after and jumping up and down, telling me she was so proud of me, and giving me a hug 🥰 Moms give the best hugs

I am still a bit scared and anxious for the months to follow as I prepare for my qualifying exam, but I am feeling a lot more confident in myself. So I’m excited too 😊
Side note: I did this the day after being up for 20 hours, seeing Hozier in concert, and only getting 6 hours of sleep…it’s nice to be young and hot.