Hi everybody. Back to the expected content for this blog: actual real advice for graduate school, and not just things about my personal life 😂 (though remember…I am a Toxicology PhD student, among many other things).

The time is quickly approaching for first year graduate students to select the lab they will be completing their PhD thesis in. How exciting!!! And, let’s be honest, maybe a little scary too. I remember how I felt at this time a year ago: I had enjoyed my first two rotations, I just started my third rotation, and while I was keeping an open mind for this third rotation, I had a pretty good idea of where I wanted to end up.

BUT, I was still really scared to make a commitment.

I am very lucky that I genuinely enjoyed all three of my research rotations and think I would have been happy joining any of those labs. I wanted to have a tough choice (because of having so many good options). But, the truth is, despite having three good options, the decision was still very easy for me.

When it comes to selecting which lab is best for you, you cannot only listen to what I have to say. I am not you. You are not me. We may have slightly different priorities and preferences for what we seek in a mentor. So, what I want and need in a mentor may be really different from what you want and need in a mentor! So, my first piece of advice is to seek out advice from multiple different people (and that you don’t need to take every piece of advice you are given) 😊 And, perhaps more importantly, you should ask yourself what you want and need in a mentor.

Something of note, what I wanted and needed in a mentor during my postbac fellowship did differ from what I wanted and needed in a mentor during grad school. And, to be honest, I didn’t really know or realize that until I actually got to graduate school. While my mentor during my postbac and my mentor during graduate school do have many differences, they have some huge (and important) similarities: they are supportive, encouraging, kind, and provide honest feedback about my performance.

Personally, those are the things that matter most to me. I need a mentor that I feel comfortable going to when I need help (whether that’s with planning experiments or crying about things going on in my personal life). I need a mentor who wants to make me a better scientist and help me be the best version of myself, even if that means seeking out a career much different from their own. I need a mentor whose excitement for the research is infectious…this helps keep me motivated and excited about the work that I do. And I need a mentor that gives me positive reinforcement and reminds me of all the great things about me, while also not being afraid to tell me when and/or how I can be doing better. Admittedly, I am a sensitive person, BUT I do think that I take critique and feedback well. To me, it’s more about how that critique is delivered, more than what is actually said. And, fortunately, both my prior and current mentor have found the perfect balance of maintaining my confidence while providing feedback on how I can improve my experiments, analysis, and ways of thinking.

Something that I needed in a mentor that is unique to graduate school, is I needed a mentor who was around often. I’ll be honest, when I started my rotation with my PhD mentor and was told that we had weekly one-on-one meetings and weekly lab meetings…I wasn’t sure I would like it. From my postbac experience, I was used to doing meetings every 2-3 weeks with my mentor and lab meetings about every 2-3 weeks (…sometimes less). I also hardly ever saw my boss (partially due to him choosing to work remotely, and partially due to COVID restrictions keeping him away from the lab for a large portion of my fellowship). I absolutely loved that mentoring style for my postbac. But, I think that’s because I was working on a postdoc’s already established project and I worked on a “team” with a postdoc and our lab manager, so I didn’t really need help from my PI (mentor) as much. However, in my PhD, I’m developing my own project – working to make a novel contribution to science!! That’s hard. I need help. And advice. I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time. And I also feel like I need to know what I’m doing because this is MY project. So, it turns out, I do need, enjoy, and appreciate these frequent meetings. (But, again, that is ME and MY preference – you may be different).

Those are my values and what I sought out in a mentor. Decide what qualities are most important to you in a mentor, and make sure that the mentor you choose exemplifies (at least some of) those qualities. Remember, there is NO perfect mentor. If you seek perfection, you may never find it.

I start with discussing what I looked for in a mentor, because for me finding a good mentor was more important than the research. But, that may be different for you! This was my mindset, as I believe that if you truly love research, you will find a way to love any research project – and having a mentor who is excited certainly helps with that! I will admit, I am lucky that the mentor I liked best also had the research I liked best. I really do feel so lucky all the time. I have an awesome mentor, a project I am so passionate about, and amazing, kind, and supportive labmates!!

So, going forward, please recognize that is my mindset. You may want to consider getting advice from others if the research is of utmost importance to you!!! Again, I genuinely enjoyed all three of my rotation projects. Which is kind of surprising given how different they were. To simply describe my rotation projects they were:

1. Using Drosophila (fruit flies) as a model to study the toxic effects of methylmercury
2. Exploring how exposures to endocrine disruptors alters susceptibility to gestational diabetes in mice
3. Studying how arsenic exposure impacts extracellular vesicle (EV) transport, using a human placenta cell line

I really enjoyed #1, as I was able to generate a lot of data in very little time. I really enjoyed #3 because studying EVs is on the cutting edge of toxicological research. I loved #2 because there was a moment during my rotation while examining placentas and embryos under the microscope where I thought to myself, “I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be” and I felt all the stress from all the years of being unsure of what I wanted to do with my life suddenly go away. I am very passionate about reproductive health and child development, so it felt like #2 was just a perfect lab where I could combine all my research interests!! 

Now, the hard part was figuring out how to tell the mentors from rotations #1 and #3 that I would not be joining their lab. Admittedly, I am a person who cares way too much about how I make other people feel. My therapist often reminds me that I am not responsible for other people’s feelings. When I talked with my program coordinator about how to have these discussions, she reminded me that this is a moment where I need to be selfish and reminded me that each of these PIs wanted me to choose the lab that was best for me. Their feelings won’t be hurt (no matter how much you worry that you might). A truly great mentor wants you to succeed, even if it means away from them. And, the PIs whose labs you do not join can still serve as mentors to you!!! Either by having them be on your thesis committee or just by having them as an extra person to talk to. Mentor relationships do not need to be formally established. You can find a mentor in anyone.

These discussions ended up being so much easier than I had anticipated. I emailed #1 to let him know that I would be joining Martha’s lab and said how grateful I was that he gave me a chance and that I really appreciated his mentorship. I felt a little more awkward telling #3 because she had asked me when my rotation was ending, and so I had to figure out how to tell her that I’d be ending my rotation so that I could officially join Martha’s lab, but that I still really enjoyed my time there and her mentorship. Both of them expressed how happy they were for me that I’d be joining Martha’s lab and that they knew I would succeed no matter where I ended up. I still talk with BOTH of these PIs often and I still consider them to be mentors, despite neither of them serving on my thesis committee.

If you’ve read this far, lucky you. Because I think this final piece of advice might just be the most important 😂 (I know, very smart to wait until the end to share this). When choosing which lab to join, you need to be selfish. Don’t worry about hurting other PIs’ feelings (because their feelings won’t be hurt). Don’t worry about taking a spot in the lab away from someone else in your program who may be interested in the same lab. I hate that lab rotations have an inherent sense of competitiveness to them…but please try not to look at it as competing for a spot in a lab. Just focus on yourself and find what lab is best for you. (Don’t be a d*ck to someone who is interested in the same lab, but also try not to worry about hurting their feelings…it is the PI’s decision at the end of the day anyway).

Maybe my next blog post will be about transitioning to the lab you are OFFICIALLY a member of. Something an older student in my program often says is how “each new year of grad school has its own unique challenges” – you may think that once you officially join a lab, life gets easier. And, in some ways, it does. But in many ways, it does not. Life is so fun!!! (Nah, for real, despite all the challenges of grad school, I do actually find it fun…going to the lab is one of my favorite parts of every day…and it is the people that make it so special!!)

-K out!!!